I couldn't believe it was here, after waiting so long for this day, so badly that I had forgotten to even fight with Sajid for my marbles and only counted days and hours, until it was here! Amma and Baba saw the moon first and they gave away the happy news. "Tomorrow begins the first day of the month of Ramazan", they announced and I almost started jumping up and down in front of Baba.

I along with five of my sisters await this day, to be able to fast in the holy month and then comes the Eid! with its glorious day of celebration, when for the first time in the year I get a new dress. A brand new dress, even bangles and henna on my hands. I shriek with joy as I remember the past eid, I had darted off through the streets of my small village, showing off my dress with its pretty yellow and red hems to my Sahiris - Friends- and had been the envy of all of them. I couldn't possibly wait for this eid I thought.

I live in a small village called Jhongal, which I love the most. Along with its dirt roads, the houses of all those whom I love surround our large haveli. A huge neem tree decorates the middle of the haveli close enough to the veranda where we sleep and listen to its leaves rustling in the nights breeze. This is my world that I knew and understood all of eleven years of my life. On rare times when amma fells ill and baba takes her to the hospital in the nearby city I am the one desperate to go along. But other then those occasional visits to a world different then mine I never could dream of leaving Jhongal ever....until....when I was forced to leave.

That Midnight it happened, it was the second day of Ramazan and the night of 12th August as Baba says. That night too I had slept the last, this time not listening to the neem tree or wishing the stars in my hand but this time dreaming about the coming eid festival. I had promised my self that I would be a good girl this time and would wash and clean myself and make two braids to look even more beautiful in my new dress. And then there are those mithais - sweets- we eat, The warm chewy and surgery balls of Gulab Jamun are what I love the most, I forgot the promise and planned that I would trick Sajid and snatch his piece of mithai from him... I had been laughing to myself that night.. feeling happy about my plans and not knowing exactly what time I had drifted to sleep.

It was a noisy rattling that I heard, or no it was more of a moan and then a shrill cry and everyone seemed to have started shouting all at once. I jolted off my slumber with hazy eyes starring at a mob of my family in the middle of the night running around frantically. Before I knew it Baba took hold of me and my brother and started running towards the door. Everyone did. The flood is here! Those floods we heard about, never assuming they could ever reach us and here it was... every single person in my village ran out to the main road making their way out of the village. Where we were going was out of my knowledge but all I knew was I was afraid, my lips had gone dry with fear and my eyes seem to bulge out. Sajid was worse, he hadnt stopped crying from the moment baba grabbed him, if it hadn't been the time of trauma I would have laughed my head off at his scardiness. But this time it wasn't just him, all of us... my sisters, Naseema my second last sister who is known to be poised was in a bad conditon, her duppata almost off her head and her hair a mess she held the hand of Rozina, while Amma had held Naima and Sumera.

My heart hammering in my ribs, I looked behind me towards the door of our haveli, our neem tree which was visible enough from the walls to wave a sad good bye to us and I had a feeling I would be crying so much about this very moment of my life. The dreams of my eid dress vanished into thin air and even the hope of fasting the other morning was gone... all I could see was my house, my village and my world left behind us as we moved far away. From the bend in the dirt road I could see the final outlines of the neem tree until dust clouds closed off of this sight taking with them every desire I had and forcing me to close my eyes with the advent of fresh tears.

We were on the main road now, my sisters and Abba, Amma panting from the run. In hurried paces we walked along the length of the road past hundreds of people on either side, some were lucky they rode on vans and wagons and roared past us, some rode on tractors while some moved slowly on donkey-carts. All others walked along with us. Baba lowered me on the road now, still carrying my six year old brother Sajid on his shoulders who made a crown of his arms on his head now sobbing quietly. Amma still carried my two sisters while two walked along. My Puphis' (Babas sisters) followed our family with their children and husbands. Chachi Sadora and chacha Mushtaq (uncle) walked close to Amma with quick paces and near her walked Tahir (my fiance), This was causing me to hold my eyes glancing towards Amma. I cursed Tahir silently and kept walking.

It was slow breaking of dawn, our caravan was taking pace as rumors came flying like fire that water can even catch up with us. Amma was almost fainting with fatigue, my Phuphis with stricken faces walked very slowly now, I felt like crying and crying for this sad night, two of my sisters were weeping quitly hiding their faces from Abba who would shout on them of course if he sees it.

Flickering lights were seen, two round lights, A van, it was a van! Baba ran towards it before it could drive past us and waved his hands in frenzy, Puphi Qulsoom started crying uncontrollably. The van slowed down and all of us rushed towards it like tied off horse suddenly released. It was packed, even women sat on top of it, along with dozens of men! inside the van I could only see faces, many faces, peeking out from windows, and from the door of the van. Amma and Puphi started begging the driver for a ride out of this town, they could barely be heard as wails of children had filled the morning air along with baba almost shouting and trying to get the driver to understand our bad situation who probably had heard a lot of that with the look of his filled wagon.

But then driver agreed and all the women started praying for his long life, Puphis went in first, amma, then my sisters and then me and Baba and chacha. I was sitting on Naseemas' lap, Sajids feet on top of me while his half still on babas shoulders, he was crying again. Amma sat in a twisted position and it broke my heart the way she tried to make space for my puphis and chachi who too were stuck in the midst of bodies. if it weren't for the windows in this van I thought, all of us would have suffocated to death.

I was glad when we were thrown out of the van after 40 minutes, inside a busy street. even though it was still morning but the street looked lively, people strolled along it, some walking towards a mosque, children stood at the end of the long paved street watching us. I saw the sudden contrast in their condition, with their smoothly braided hair and clean duppattas, I knew at once we were in a city. Which city I couldn't tell, but a city which I always had loved to visit but now I was making the worst of faces I could ever manage. Soon Abba and Chacha came hurrying towards us and ushered us all to the nearest Masjid - Mosque-."The Mullah have allowed us to live here for some time" they told us, "we are in Shikarpur".

So yes, it happens a lot of times... Sitting with friends somehow the question of what you like doing the most comes up and occasionally we find ourselves jumping up to what interests us most of all. I therefore am usually the first one to chant, I love long drives! It always feels like a victory to share that passion about being in a vehicle, for longest of hours and riding down the roads you never know but enjoy every second of it... Yes I love long drives a lot, and finally at the Unreasonable Institute we were going on a long drive, Perhaps the longest one I could ever have... or may be the longest one to make me get rid of my un-ending love for long drives... but yeah long... so we were supposed to ride in a bus, all 22 Unreasonable fellows from Boulder, Colorado to San Francisco to pitch to a room full of investors from Silicon Valley. I knew I was ready for my pitch, but was I ready for the drive of 3000 miles to west coast of America?

Finally the day had arrived, we all in the bus which to my amazement had a toilet that I hadn't seen in Pakistani buses, the nice comfortable seats were to provide us home for the next 33 hours of travel and two kind-faced drivers stood up ahead, were to take us to our destination. I couldn't have been more excited!

Our first stop was International Development Design Summit, at Fort Collins, which was one of the best parts of this travel since we at the Unreasonable Institute had wanted to meet these wonderful people from around the world that used design in development to create powerful solutions to worlds depressing problems. The two hours of Unreasonable Picnic proved to be a fantastic time for all of us to connect, share ideas and most especially compete in Unreasonable+IDDS Olympics games!

Finally back in the bus we were all looking forward to our longest journey ahead, while some putting cushions and pillows on their seats to make them comfortable, some listening to songs and some frantically typing on their computers... that was our family, all of us together, coming from 17 countries from around the world, living together for 7 weeks and now riding on a bus to California.... It was no big deal.

Driving down the road, with scenarios of green passing by us and the sky with its blue making this all look
perfect... led me to think about all the bus rides I have had in my life. About hundreds. Each time as exciting and wonderful. The road underneath the bus, flowing backwards making us closer to our destination brought back waves of memories to me......That crowded inside of the public bus from Hyderabad, where seats occupied by men with huge mustaches feeling pride in the dignity of it, while women crouched beside them with black burqa's, some of whom holding their little kids who usually were crying, the smoke of the cigarettes and smell of it would fill the air inside while somewhere close to you a baby would give a milky burp, the old Bollywood songs chanting on high volume and the bus whooshing down to its destination..... There is nothing more perfect then that and nothing as beautiful.

And there have been those rides when I would be running to the catch the handle of the bus-door and rush in to find the space filled with girls in white dress with a look of annoyance from the mornings of going to college, I would be panting while feeling good about making it inside the bus and in that dancing and jolting down of the bus and our holding tight to whatever was available some one would tap on my shoulder and I would look back finding my class fellows and we would beam with happiness to see each other every morning!

The travels to and from Balochistan have always been memorable, I cant forget the sunsets and sunrises from the bus windows, the beams would come pouring inside on the sleeping passengers and I would be standing on my seat stretching my eyes open to see how the sun actually comes up, the shapes of mountains of Balochistan would come as a reason for me to play and guess what they look like until I am tired of standing. Dawn of the day, bus would stop near a mosque and people would rush outside to pray then is when mom would open a small cloth-bag filled with roti and fried potatoes and we the kids would munch on them enjoying the sun-rising into daylight till the bus starts again on its journey.
There are millions of memories connected to the journeys in a bus.... and sitting here with the wonderful Unreasonable fellows from around the world, I had a feeling this journey as well was going to become a great and unforgettable memory.

And it became, one of the unforgettable trips one could ever have! although we didn't have kids screaming nor we had any sacks of flour perched in the middle of the seats or people snoring on top of their lungs, but it was just as perfect... we stopped in Wyoming for beautiful sunsets where we also saw deers ran through the open land, enjoyed a peaceful picnic near Donner lake, Enjoyed the bright flashy lights of Casinos in Nevada, stopped at the Pacific Ocean, went through the Golden Gate Bridge screaming like crazy, ate Fernando's Brazilian biscuits, saw sunrise of Utah... and with 33 hours of travel we all reached in San Francisco, presented to about 100 people the next day and made our way back just like that after 3 days~ That's how Unreasonable we are!

It was my first day in Colorado, US, for the Unreasonable Institute. The beginning of a beautiful day, sun hadn't gained it full power and thus the sky was clear with patches of white floating... I perhaps never had seen anything as beautiful as this, the green of Boulder with the blue of sky reminded me of how perfect Nature is.... I had gone for a long walk. Coming back I didn't have to worry about time and was walking slowly. Up the road, back to the Unreasonable Institute where all of the wonderful fellows from around the world stayed together.

As usual I was wearing my traditional shalwar qameez with scarf wrapped around my hair... I was walking with deep satisfaction, taking in all the beauty of the nature, until... I started feeling awkward. my hands clutched my bag tightly, my eyes promised not to look up... Some people were walking up the street, American people. I had no other choice but to pass through them... I know I have heard wrong... I kept telling myself I have heard wrong of people disliking diversity and especially hating Pakistani culture.. I knew they were going to do something.... or say something... or probably laugh.... feeling oddly weak my pace started to slow down... either this way or that, I had to walk past these people... and thus we approached each other, my eyes down, my heart beating loudly and my feet denying further steps and these people approaching more closer, closer, until they were shoulder to shoulder with me, and then...each of them chanted, good morning! oh you look nice! have a great day!:)..... I felt ashamed of myself.

From that day on, till today, that makes a month of staying in America... I have seen respect, love, and smiles in return to my differences, I represented Pakistan the whole month of June in the Unreasonable Institute, where ever I went in Colorado, in Tennessee, meeting hundreds of people, I gained love in return.... and thus I decided to offer the same, respect to Americans, love and peace to every single person I come across on 4th of July, I decided to represent America and spreading the message of love by wearing American attire and walking down to people to personally tell everyone how thankful I am to be here.

Just this morning of 4th of July, I woke up with a mission, and dressed in a big gown with colors of US flag and a cow boy hat with neckerchief. It was perfect. The long walk started just after lunch, I needed my strength:) and taking along my beautiful friend+room mate Maria with me, we headed down to down the street first to have a cappuccino (I had waited till this day to try what it is:). "Are you really going to do it", Maria asked smiling, "yeah why not", I said and there a lady coming down the street toward our way, coming closer, I smiled with gratitude and chanted my first: HAPPY 4TH OF JULY! she was in thoughts at first, shocked second, smiled later and laughing waved with happiness and said, "happy 4th of July to you too"!!! I couldn't have been more proud. I told this to 13 more people walking across the street all of them waving and smiling, some laughing and wishing a great day. my heart was filled with happiness and yet it was only the beginning..

We walked inside a few shops to greet people, having chances to speak further then the greetings, I told them I was from Pakistan and offered peace and love to everyone in America because we all know humans speak one language before all and that's the "language of love". With misty eyes some of them hugged me, some shook hands, I got blessings, and took pictures and I think there wouldn't have been a day like this when I felt such strong connections with people even I didnt knew them.

I found out Cappuccino is actually coffee with foam on it, oh well I thought as Maria and I started walking to the Pearl street. Which is the main busy and most amazing place in Boulder where I can greet about hundreds of people all together. Soon it was huge masses of people walking across streets I sensed we are there. I felt my heart take leaps of joy, approaching the first person there who was offering ice cream samples I tasted mango ice cream and told him about my mission for today, he was happier then ever, waved to us for a long time until we disappeared in the crowds of people, watching street performers, children playing, elderly people sitting and talking, In short it was all HUMAN, every single one of them with a desperate need to give and get love.

People saw me walking, some waved, some smiled and some approached me themselves before I did. It was all overwhelming.... about more then 80 people who have smiled and greeted back, I had simply washed away perhaps years of sadness in me as the deep feeling of happiness made my heart warm with each smile that came across from people. I chased kids, took pictures with them, some got scared and others clapped... I wasnt able to hide my tears when their parents waved back when we walked away...

"You are a blessing", one of the old ladies said sitting along with 5 others on a bench, gave me warm hugs as I shared my mission... more then 100 people now. I saw people wearing flags on their shoulders, ran to them, wished them and saw them being really happy... I waved to street performers, approached many and took pictures and shared my mission. Some times passing people I didnt have to say anything at all, it was just smiles, warm beautiful smiles, from older people, from small kids, from mothers and fathers, from everyone and it said: you offer love, we offer love.

More then 150 people by now... about hours of greeting everyone, sharing the connections, love and the pure sense of belonging. I felt filled with emotions, the happiness that at first was just within me, flowed through the crowds of people that were there.... Now as I and Maria made our way back home a bunch of people waved from behind, smiling and yes feeling the love that I felt towards everyone~ +++++++

I keep learning from people, from every single being, because each one of us comes with unique identity and that when shared becomes a source of energy to live and a reason to celebrate. The more I learn about humans, the more I want to show my gratitute and respect to the differences which unite us all.

I am from Pakistan, I offer peace. HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!!!

Now as I am sitting down to write this post, I think again to myself if it is possible enough to put everything that happened in the past 5 weeks of the Unreasonable Institute in this blog post? ~ Simply not, past month or the five weeks haven't been mere 30 days for us, but its been a lifetime... a whole process of overwhelming knowledge, information, education, learning's and sharing and laughing all together. In short the first five weeks of the Unreasonable Institute have been UNREASONABLE!!!

I remember the first day of the Institute... all the fellows arriving at the Unreasonable "Mansion", awed by the colors of diversity that surrounded us one by one as all of us from 18 countries celebrated a getting-together of the most unreasonable people around the world. It was a moment to behold. For myself it was a moment to acknowledge the fortunate blessings upon my life and to think again of where I come from and where am I... and the gratitude in my heart wasn't in limits, I was in a different world and that feeling is something which just cant be defined at all....

The Unreasonable Mansion was something that I liked with the first sight, with its beautifully structured glass windows to its porch facing the great pride of Boulder, the flat irons, the patio of the house and of course the volleyball court where I learned my first ever volley ball! However, though from all the best things I adored my room, that I share with Maria and Trina the lovely ladies who helped me get together the room in a traditional style representing Sindh and Balochistan! coming back to this room from a whole day sessions at the Institute I feel myself smiling at the fact that I am not far from my traditions.

The Launching ceremony of the Unreasonable Institute was one of the memorable ones, all of us went crazy working on the answer for the question we were asked to speak upon in 2 minutes. Who are you to define progress in our time? I had taken days to find out the exact meaning of this question until finally I had something like this: Who do you think you are?! to actually be defining the meaning of "progress" in America?!
I decided finally not to answer that question and just give an overview to people about what I am doing, I think I did right.

The first week was amazing, luck was on our side as Boulder Creek Festival was taking place in just those days and a lot of us headed down there and enjoy the soothing sound of the beautiful creek. Although among the best things was trying to win big stuffed toys by throwing rings around bottle heads, when I am saying "trying", I mean banging our heads on a wall, the rings were the size of bracelets which flew down the rack of bottles while we grasped our breath and our eyes glued to the movement of that sacred last piece while it swooshed in the air, taking dramatic strides, we gasping even more, not even moving our eyelids, pausing the whole crowd surrounding us, fists in the air and there! the ring would not go in the bottle and instead of a big YES we ended up exhaling HAA's of sadness while proud winners made a big deal of fluffing the stuffed toys in front of us... we went on trying something else. Ullas, Maria, Cesar and Fernando tried walking on strips, falling each second while on the same spot kids of four to six years were flying in the sky tied to strips... I am simply amazed to see all this.

Another of the best things about the Unreasonable Institute along with the amazing founders is the mentors. Evey day a great mentor would arrive at the Institute and apart from a mentor session, they facilitate workshops from organizational legal structure to financial models, from networking to building a strong team, and that not being enough we get to have office hours with them. I remember the first one I signed up for and kept thinking the whole time what are people supposed to talk to mentors in office hours except for the weather. Things eased up when I saw that the mentor itself was quite confused on how he is supposed to run the office hours. However, this have been a great help to all us fellows as it gives us the opportunity to engage in 1 on 1’s and build powerful relations with our mentors to learn as much as from them as possible.

In fact that’s greatest thing I have learned in the very beginning of the Unreasonable Institute is the power of 1 on 1's, how effective it is to develop a powerful relationship with one person at a time. I learned how each single person in this world holds a story within them, a unique experience from their life which to the second person is of course new and the fact that if this unique experience is shared with other, it becomes a rare knowledge which is only possible by building powerful relationships and networking with people, observing each one as a resource. I just cant believe how blessed we are to live close to people, people surrounding us at our home, at workplaces, at grocery stores even and each one of them is a rare, unique resource!

This reminds me of all the times us fellows spent together in the past month, learning from each other, laughing with and "on" each other, hence developing a powerful bond of a family, one of the best times I believe we all had together from dozens others is the courageous plan of water rafting/tubing. It was one of those days in Boulder, sunny, warm and clear with patches of white clouds floating in the sky making the horizon look like a basket of diamonds and hence our week long email exchange about the grand-day-to come had finally paid off. And when all the proud fellows with huge tubes in their hands made their way to the Boulder creek, it was a sight to behold...until, a few of us couldn’t help grasping for air or murmuring a not-so-silent EEK! seeing the crazy fast flowing water making its way in seconds to the end of each turn banging waves in every rock and tree... It was impossible for a human being to climb down in this water and come back with bones all joined together. Matt tried to experience it, but not far enough in the water he announced that his legs are frozen enough and Ben can rescue him.... and thus they all decided to have picnic in a nearby park where I spent my whole time chasing kids until the warriors made their way back to the Unreasonable Mansion with tubes still in their hands.


For some reason all this sense-of-family is scary in one sense too, The signs show its going to be a dangerous experience ending the Institute of Unresaonability.... even from my own experience I remember my visit to Nashville a few days ago, leaving Boulder for the first time for three days and counting each single second in Nashville till the time I came back and sighed with relief to see my big family. Talking to one of the founders I did mention that we perhaps would need mentors in the end days who are psychiatrists, as some of us might not be able to take the separation when its time to leave the Unreasonable Institute... Okkk lets not talk about that...

I am still overwhelmed from the greatness of the moments as it all happened today! The first ever Unreasonable Institute in the history of the world launches with a grand ceremony at the Boulder Wolf Law Building with hundreds of guests including investors, mentors, supporters and admirers of the Unreasonable revolution!

Sitting there right next to worlds high-impact venture founders, I felt like it was the end, where perhaps I could shout out loud, THIS IS IT! this is what I and my venture need, an utmost incubation program that could provide everything from mentorship, global networking, partnerships, seed capital to take flight and support in reach out to about a million people!

Months ago when I decided to apply for this institute, all this looked rather impossible for me, where a growing venture could be given wings to fly, and now when the hall was full of hundreds of people who believed in this vision and their enthusiasm and excitement was filling the whole place with glimmer of inspiration, hope and belief, was an overwhelming evidence that these two months in Boulder, Colorado at the Unreasonable Institute are perhaps going to be a great shift in how some of us see social entrepreneurship and can lead the road to development with sustainability, scalability and impact that reaches out to a million people all at once.

I still cant believe I am an unreasonable finalist :)! This was probably the fifth time I reread their email… I had to keep telling my self, that yes it is the victory I had dreamt to get. And I would be proud of the word “unreasonable”. Because this wasn’t the only time I came face-to-face with it. Smiling proudly to my self my thoughts couldn’t help wandering back to the time I was called unreasonable.

I was 16. No plans, no full education and no experience, nothing but boiling rage. A fury about the customs I was living in. It was the time my mind settled on the decision. And I was out to END the custom of honor killing. To me what I saw was the horrible truth belonging to traditions, however to people, there stood a stupid girl right between her own tribes yelling against them…. Then is when I was called unreasonable.

Hearing the word that time and hearing it back now makes a huge difference, now I cant help shouting about with happiness telling people I m unreasonable enough to be part of the 42 finalists!

Its been 6 years now, determination keeps growing at each step of my journey and for now ~this is a boost up in my determination, power and strength! I m privileged to be among the finalists around the world, and would do 100% more then my best to raise the funds and become an officially licensed unreasonable person:)

Here is to dreamers that don’t surrender because of the size of their beliefs!!