As my day of departure from Pakistan comes closer, my senses seem to work extra special. My nose now smells that hint of familiarity in the damp foggy air here, my ears fall in love with each roar of the fast car in the streets and that brrrr!ttt! of silencer-less motor bikes, my eyes seem to find every person smiling and oh those street lights and traffic lights....or when I touch a wall or a door it grabs my hand and says - Don't Go...
Suddenly little things are becoming special, suddenly I am in love with waking up to the busy and noisy traffic here, suddenly I am thrilled to see my siblings shout about in the house and suddenly I want to spend my every waking hour hugging and loving each person close to my heart.. This sudden desire to be present came to me because I realized I would be absent. Or was I absent and just became present? My desire to live the moment came with the fear of losing this moment, and this discovery is just so fascinating for me...
But, do we always have to "leave" to discover how important the little details of our life are? Can we not have that feeling of first time or last time I am seeing/feeling/doing this thing and have the best of every passing moment?
I once read that life isn't really lived if it didn't squeeze the juices off your body. Just like that I believe life isn't really lived if YOU didn't squeeze every last bit of that juice from each of its micro second and savoured it with some delicious cookies of gratitude.
A few months ago in Boulder, Colorado I planned to get a photo frame for a friend of mine for his birthday and so went to the nearest Art shop.
As I asked the lady at the counter if they had those certain kind of frames, she looked up from jotting something down on her notebook and said, "no I am sorry we don't, perhaps the next shop has it".
I thanked her and started walking towards the door but then it hit me, something about her eyes was not right. I went back to her and said, "excuse me... I am so sorry but you look kind of sad, can I give you a hug"? After a startled expression on her face she walked out of the counter and we hugged for a few seconds until her whole body trembled and tears rolled off her face. "I have just had a few weeks of tough time at home", she said honestly... "today was the worst but I thank you for this, it makes a really big difference". There was an awkward pause in each of her word as she was definitely feeling weird for hugging a random traditionally-dressed girl. But the feeling of loss that I had seen in her eyes at first seem to have fad a bit and that smile was enough to make that moment more beautiful and powerful.
After saying our goodbyes, as I walked out of the door I felt a million years of warmth and peace in my heart. That melting feeling of joy that passed from my heart and veins to all corners of my body told me to celebrate a human connection which does not ask for rationality, reasoning, and answers. It just loves and finds joy in it.
Wanted to share this with you friends to remind you that there are people around us everywhere who are in desperate need of that attention or a simple hug. Some you may know. Go give them a hug today, believe me its a feeling worth dozen rewards~
Although it was still hard for me to understand the point behind a celebrity meeting a struggling village girl. With my naive knowledge about world's famous people, I only knew that this woman had power and success at her feet. The distance between her and myself is enormous, with her fame and personality she has much important things to do then speak to me, and about what?
But then I met Oprah this past April 2013. Luck brought us together as speakers in the same conference in New York. There I was, a young little girl with layers of traditional clothing, while Oprah a strong woman whom I had seen on TV now standing right there in front of me in elegant expensive cloths.
As I spoke to her in an embarrassing trembling voice, my habit forced me to gaze into her eyes and there I saw something that eased me... something that took away the anxiety within me and made the air in the room much lighter. I saw Authenticity.Oprah Winfrey was not a celebrity. She was one true woman and all that she had become was because she chose to stay her true self and prove to everyone that a young girl from Mississippi can shake the world.
At that moment I slowly looked around us, people surrounded us with camera's, hopes and smiles. Through their eyes I saw, "The Oprah Winfrey", the worlds most known woman and "An Ambitious Girl" from the mountains, I didn't see much difference between us.
In the end when she hugged me, I realized I didn't have to find reasons for why I should meet her. I only knew one thing very clearly: The future and past were facing each other right at that time, my heart strongly gestured a future where I would stand just like that as a strong woman leader hugging a young girl who has struggled, and right there in that moment of connection I would also whisper in her ear: "I am proud of you my dear".
Thank you Oprah <3 p="">
Today dad drove me on his old bike in the old streets of Karachi....
In the dark of the night when traffic was slow and the moon almost full, dad increased the speed on the bike. I clutched tight and shouted a big woohoo! and he laughed a high-pitched young laugh.
The moment converted into the streets of my hometown when my little hands clutched him for dear life as he would speed the bike into the streets not even caring for the glares that people gave the (very rare) father-daughter bond.
We have both come a long way, both warriors in our own lives and with our own struggles.. we disagree at things, we celebrate somethings and there are times we don't talk to each other for long... But both of us know that being with each other keeps us strong and reminds us that no matter how hard the life comes upon you, you would always have that one bond, one friendship which is the strongest among all and which is far beyond the pressures of the society, the concepts of dishonor or even shame - it only talks affection and understands affection, everything else is just the dirt that flew behind our bike when we zoomed around this big city!
The day at noon
The sun may be sharp
The walk may be long
The steps might be harder
The sand could slow us down
The wind could blind us
The heat would try to grab us
The hopes might fall a little
Our shoes may come untied
Our breath exhausted
Our energy beaten
Our feets with blisters
But...
We will still go on
Becuause oh Woman, YOU DID
You faced a lot when we were not watching
you never cried when we were singing
you never complained when we were busy praising your smile
its OUR turn now
The world's turn to prove itself and do what we promise
and we will
because YOU did
The sun may be sharp
The walk may be long
The steps might be harder
The sand could slow us down
The wind could blind us
The heat would try to grab us
The hopes might fall a little
Our shoes may come untied
Our breath exhausted
Our energy beaten
Our feets with blisters
But...
We will still go on
Becuause oh Woman, YOU DID
You faced a lot when we were not watching
you never cried when we were singing
you never complained when we were busy praising your smile
its OUR turn now
The world's turn to prove itself and do what we promise
and we will
because YOU did
Returning from the US after my talk at Google recently, I discovered that my love for Pakistan isn't something of a mere saying, its a terribly painful feeling mixed with longing and lots of tears. In just a little time I wanted to be back to my mountains I belong to, the noise and scent of this earth and the laughter of my siblings.
But when I got back, along with that satisfied feeling of familiarity I sensed another feeling which more like hit me like the breaking news we often get in Pakistan. The sense of freedom and mobility I had as a woman there in the US is not present in Pakistan. I could not walk to my office. Although I tried to but parents showed me eyes that said, don't you dare! I waited for the bus for a long time to get somewhere, I paid huge lumps of money to go around in a Rickshaw and more troublesome then anything I had to sweet-talk my brother for hours to get him to drop me off somewhere on his motorbike.
This sense of dependency kind of declared I was not a free woman after all, although I am by all definitions a "working woman" who tends to do their own decisions, makes their own choices and yes runs their own business. But when it comes to just going across the street, I cannot go on my own.
I have been thinking about this from a while now and I think International Women's Day gives me a good reason to get the word out there to all of my fellow girls in Pakistan.
Why don't we bike/motorbike to work and other places?
I know there have been a number of attempts on this previously in the country where amazingly brave women did the following:
I respect these women and girls and respect all of you out there who have wanted to do this from a long time (I know many of you). Lets begin once again, what's the worst that can happen?
If you want to join in on this slow revolution join us at Sughar Women Program facebook page today! www.facebook.com/SugharWomen
Seriously, this is going to be a good news for men who are tired of taking around their female family members everywhere.
But when I got back, along with that satisfied feeling of familiarity I sensed another feeling which more like hit me like the breaking news we often get in Pakistan. The sense of freedom and mobility I had as a woman there in the US is not present in Pakistan. I could not walk to my office. Although I tried to but parents showed me eyes that said, don't you dare! I waited for the bus for a long time to get somewhere, I paid huge lumps of money to go around in a Rickshaw and more troublesome then anything I had to sweet-talk my brother for hours to get him to drop me off somewhere on his motorbike.
This sense of dependency kind of declared I was not a free woman after all, although I am by all definitions a "working woman" who tends to do their own decisions, makes their own choices and yes runs their own business. But when it comes to just going across the street, I cannot go on my own.
I have been thinking about this from a while now and I think International Women's Day gives me a good reason to get the word out there to all of my fellow girls in Pakistan.
Why don't we bike/motorbike to work and other places?
I know there have been a number of attempts on this previously in the country where amazingly brave women did the following:
I respect these women and girls and respect all of you out there who have wanted to do this from a long time (I know many of you). Lets begin once again, what's the worst that can happen?
If you want to join in on this slow revolution join us at Sughar Women Program facebook page today! www.facebook.com/SugharWomen
Seriously, this is going to be a good news for men who are tired of taking around their female family members everywhere.
Heard the Pakistani National Anthem being sung by little kids inside a school today while coming back from my morning walk, Stood there to listen, each word echoed with great power, shaking my whole body, Goosebumps made me shiver from head to toe until my tears couldn't stop. Every word, every praise was a lie.How much of it we really meant? How many of these kids knew what it meant to praise our country every morning? They would sing the anthem like robots and go back to their lives forgetting the promise, we all do, we are all traitors... how much have we given back to this land?
It hurts to face the truth, but more importantly it hurts to face ourselves, we find it easier to deny because denial does not expose us, does not make us vulnerable. But please, for God's sake, face your fears; face yourself because right there within you is a human, a heart and inside it is God. Let God work through you and start giving back to this land and its people, little by little, piece by piece, the smallest contribution (not the easiest) would count, start today, start now. Let’s start by saying we are sorry – I AM SORRY PAKISTAN, I am sorry people of Abbas town and every other innocent person that lost their life in the recent incidents, may your sacrifice let this country and its people rise again. Amen.
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| Photo Credit: [https://www.facebook.com/mevlana] |
I have felt him in the joy of my heart
I have known him before I knew myself
I am him in every single way
I choose to belong to nothing but him
And he surrounds me in everything
I inhale his presence
I exhale his love
I rejoice with happiness
I dance with bliss
I know him very well
he is a good friend
Now I feel the freedom,
the knowledge the faith the light thats his
now I know what truth is
its neither right, nor its wrong but it is, and is and is my dear God
We at Sughar have won, big time! In a way where winning is defined in a much more victorious way and where winning means: Standing surrounded by the support of thousands of people who come from very diverse geographical, cultural and social backgrounds, with diverse languages, faith and traditions!
I personally take this moment to thank each single one of you who voted, who asked for votes and who became the friend that Sughar always needs. We although did not make it to the final but we know in our hearts the the biggest achievement we are feeling is because we KNOW now that there are all of you around the world right there for Sughar when we need you and the assurity of that love and kindness will always become our power to grow, to step forward and to make change happen in the lives of women we are working for.
We cant thank you enough for the huge support and love that was extended to us at the slightest calls of help, we were simply overwhelmed and overjoyed by the shout-outs, emails, tweets, facebook shares, linkedin shares and every single effort you made just to make sure that Sughar Brand is able to represent in this wonderful opportunity and a gathering which holds more then 1500 people - Although we couldn't make it to that platform, but let me tell you, you have done it! you have already made it possible! Already there are thousands who have heard about Sughar and our work in tribal/rural areas of Pakistan, who have reached out to us to wish us luck, who have sent their smiles, best wishes and best thoughts to us and in fact who have asked to join in on the journey of Sughar!
I personally take this moment to thank each single one of you who voted, who asked for votes and who became the friend that Sughar always needs. We although did not make it to the final but we know in our hearts the the biggest achievement we are feeling is because we KNOW now that there are all of you around the world right there for Sughar when we need you and the assurity of that love and kindness will always become our power to grow, to step forward and to make change happen in the lives of women we are working for.
We love you all and thank you all, and once again want to tell you how fortunate we are to know YOU~
With Gratitude and Blessings,
Khalida Brohi
My friend Laila was only 10 when I knew her, she was a year older then me at that time but fortunately still allowed to come play with us in the sun and outside of our home. We would go out everyday after we are done from reading our Siparas (Holy Quran) and we would meet outside near the old railway line on the dirtpath leading to small houses around our haveli.Laila was a chubby little girl with beautiful thick hair and her smile was like a bright cure to heal eveyrhting seem fine. I loved seeing her everyday, but there were certain times I would see her, like in the afternoon when I take meal (just as a good deed for neighbors) for her family and in the evening before the sunset when we played near the railway line.
Those were the times I was learning my urdu language as well and I loved how a few sentences were used in playing games and other things that only kids did, one of those sentences I learnt was "Laila ki Bachi daal daal katchi", each time I would call her this she would smile like all of her teeth would fall down and my day would be as bright as that smile!
Then one day, in the heat of the afternoon sun my mother gave me a cup of gravy and roti and told me to take this for her family and I just as usual went to their house happily, I usually never knocked, this time too I got in and heard noises, wails and crying from one of the rooms, the roti and gravy cup in my hand I gazed inside to find Laila hugging her mother in tears and her mother almost faint with crying while her little brother only stood there and watched never knowing what has happend ...as for me, I froze. Right there on the door, never to know what to do. I never knew when had I started crying myself and when was I taken back to my home and when I found myself in deep pain over the fact that Laila's mother that time was being thrown out of the house by her husband along with Laila as she had gone visitng some neighbors without the permission from him..
I never saw Laila again, I never could shout the words Laila ki bachi daal daal kachi again, I never ever could see that bright smile and for days to come the pain still felt kept on as I would think about where and how they would be, but I never forgot that this was supposed to be normal in our community and I had come across things like this in the past and something even worse was yet to come after 5 years when I was to find out about the girl I knew who was killed in the name of honor, and which will finally lead the path for my fight for women protection and empowerment because I have seen women vulnerable and without any access to opportunities that can make them strong human beings.
Our journey did began, taking many shapes and going through learning and failures till what I and my team are doing today.
We launched Sughar three years back after 4 years of campaigning against honor killings, I call those 4 years the years of failure and am quite proud of that becasue I know that the biggest failure of receiving great opposition from tribal communities before launching Sughar led us to find the right startegy to fight negative traditions which is not by standing against the values and beliefs of someone, but getting to sit together with them and letting them understand the reasons why some traditions and beliefs are right and some are wrong, which is what we are doing today, directly working in the very same communities, in the very same strict traditions but luckily mostly supported by tribal leaders themselves and knowing how visible our support to women is!
How we did it begins with the core aim of Sughar itself, which is to provide socio-economic empowerment to tribal women of Pakistan by developing their skills, knowlege, awareness and providing them with income generating and learning opportunities to enable them a leadership role in not only their households but in the society eventually help lower the rate of violence against women and gender discrimination.
We do that by establishing Women Learning and Skill Development Centers in selected rural communities where each Center gives a 6 month course to tribal/rural women on value-adding the traditional embroidery, enterprise development and also provide basic education and literacy skills and raise awareness of rural women which builds their capacities towards decision making and contribution in their households and lives.
Sughar has also recently launched Pakistan's first ever Rural Fashion Brand for the tribal/rural women in Pakistan to ensure that the traditional embroidery made by these women gets the space it deserves in the fashion industry of Pakistan and that women receive increased profit for their embroidery products.
The finished embroidery products are marketed via various means by Sughar including Marketplaces of Sughar and various exhibitions and stalls around Pakistan. Each course offers a minimum loan to each woman after graduating to initiate Primary Production Units at their homes thus promoting women entrepreneurship and contributing towards a decrease in violence in the name of honor!
Sughar is a label for skilled and confident women in local language, we chose this word as it best suited Sughar Women Program's idea of change because at Sughar we believe that each single women is skilled and confident and blessed with amazing talents and leadership. There is just a need to give them the opportunity and to unleash that unique Sughar in them towards creating the Society where women are not killed for Honor but are Honored, Respected and Admired for their Abilities.
Today there are a lot of things I am thankful about, and one of them is the respect, support, care and understanding from each single one of you who have made sure we are able to achieve our goals at Sughar and who like old friends that I can count on have been there for me at the slightest call. I look at my journey and I see that I have never been alone, but there has been strength of thousands of people with me. Thank you so much for everything!
Brand Award
From a Small Village in Pakistan to San Diego in America! - Sughar for International Brand Award!
Saturday, May 05, 2012
Sughar has a big goal, A goal to create a society where women are not killed for Honor but are honored and given equal status....To reach this goal we at Sughar have been struggling from years to find the right track, the right strategy and that right moment to directly connect with the tribal traditions which we were intending to change! Eventually we realized that we weren’t changing all of the traditions as it wasn’t the traditions that were our enemies, it was the knowledge to choose which tradition is positive and which is negative that keeps the customs like Honor Killing, Exchange Marriage and Child Marriages rampant.
We decided then and there to think for a way to stop criticizing, and accusing the values of people who make more then half of Pakistan and started on the strategy of Sughar, which was ultimately very unique! We approached tribal leaders, Mullahs and influential men in villages declaring our connection to their values and that we want to promote those traditions, to start with we promoted Music and Language from various traditions in Balochistan, later declaring that Embroidery is one o the most ancient forms of traditions and using embroidery we can eventually promote customs which are beautiful.
Sughar was allowed and in fact supported by the tribal
leaders to create centers in villages where women would come to
make embroidery every day, embroidery which is value added and in
each stitch has a story to tell the world! This center when thought to be
serving for promoting of embroidery was to become the HUB where we give women
education, skills, life skills, enterprise training and awareness as
well as income for each product they create!
Launching Pakistan's first ever rural women brand was
also one of those ideas, to help bring more income for the products that these
women make! To give that value and space to their skills which it needs in the
Fashion Industry of Pakistan and hence in February 2012 we Launched Sughar, the
brand that tribal and rural women in Pakistan, designed, created, launched and
own!
This Brand is now going global! Sustainable Brands
Awards have made us a part of the 27 Brands from all around the world who could
win to receive International Brand Award! This is our first and only chance to
make it happen, to finally let the world know that these are the beautiful traditions
that live in Pakistan and to give Sughar and the tribal women in Pakistan the
attention that they deserve!
We are highly in need of your VOTE, our success along
with these women's hopes depend on you and you can make this happen by going to
this link http://sbio.maker.good.is/projects/Sughar and
just clicking on VOTE at our page, believe me you are never going to regret
that click of your life.
Be with us and be our strength~
Sughar Team -
Watch Sughar Brand Launch Fashion Show Video Created by Media Voice Films in Pakistan!
This is beautiful, I just felt like sharing it here~
A NYC Taxi driver wrote:
I arrived at the address and honked the horn. After waiting a few minutes I honked again. Since this was going to be my last ride of my shift I thought about just driving away, but instead I put the car in park and walked up to the door and knocked.. 'Just a minute', answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor.
After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 90's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940's movie.
By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets.
There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard
box filled with photos and glassware.
'Would you carry my bag out to the car?' she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman.
She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb.
She kept thanking me for my kindness. 'It's nothing', I told her.. 'I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother to be treated.'
'Oh, you're such a good boy, she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address and then asked, 'Could you drive
through downtown?'
'It's not the shortest way,' I answered quickly..
'Oh, I don't mind,' she said. 'I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice.
I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. 'I don't have any family left,' she continued in a soft voice..'The doctor says I don't have very long.' I quietly reached over and shut off the meter.
'What route would you like me to take?' I asked.
For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator.
We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl.
Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.
As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, 'I'm tired. Let's go now'.
We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico.
Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move.
They must have been expecting her.
I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.
'How much do I owe you?' She asked, reaching into her purse.
'Nothing,' I said
'You have to make a living,' she answered.
'There are other passengers,' I responded.
Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly.
'You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,' she said. 'Thank you.'
I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light.. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life..
I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day,I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver,or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?
On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life.
We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments.
But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.
A NYC Taxi driver wrote:
I arrived at the address and honked the horn. After waiting a few minutes I honked again. Since this was going to be my last ride of my shift I thought about just driving away, but instead I put the car in park and walked up to the door and knocked.. 'Just a minute', answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor.
After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 90's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940's movie.
By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets.
There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard
box filled with photos and glassware.
'Would you carry my bag out to the car?' she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman.
She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb.
She kept thanking me for my kindness. 'It's nothing', I told her.. 'I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother to be treated.'
'Oh, you're such a good boy, she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address and then asked, 'Could you drive
through downtown?'
'It's not the shortest way,' I answered quickly..
'Oh, I don't mind,' she said. 'I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice.
I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. 'I don't have any family left,' she continued in a soft voice..'The doctor says I don't have very long.' I quietly reached over and shut off the meter.
'What route would you like me to take?' I asked.
For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator.
We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl.
Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.
As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, 'I'm tired. Let's go now'.
We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico.
Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move.
They must have been expecting her.
I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.
'How much do I owe you?' She asked, reaching into her purse.
'Nothing,' I said
'You have to make a living,' she answered.
'There are other passengers,' I responded.
Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly.
'You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,' she said. 'Thank you.'
I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light.. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life..
I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day,I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver,or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?
On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life.
We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments.
But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.
In my life I have come accross people whom I learnt a lot from, whether we became friends, or remained strangers, through some talk their or certain words or even some gestures I learnt things that I otherwise couldnt have learnt, like a lady I met three days ago, some random stranger on the road, I asked her the address to somewhere I wanted to go, she was going the same way and asked me to join her in the walk.
We talked, we shared, we learnt, we laughed, we spent 10 minutes together walking until it was time for us to turn our ways, before we left we looked at each other and instead of shaking hands we chose to give each other a hug, because in those moments we had connected, we had shared some minutes in our lives together and in those minutes we had given each other space to express being their ownselves to someone totally stranger to them, and there is nothing more human then that. After our warm hug we went on our ways smiling snd beaming while my heart leapt with joy for the love that still exists in this world, I quickly wrote down the following and dedicate it to all of you (and those I couldnt tag), becasue at some points in my life, I have learnt a LOT from you as well about being human-KIND~
Human-"Kind"
I don't care what century I am in,
I don't care what year this is
and I don't care about the time in this moment...
What I only care about, in this moment is,
how I FEEL
and how I make OTHERS feel
because this very moment
is a test to see NOT how I live,
but how I CHOOSE to live
and I choose the life of friendship
I choose the language of love
I choose the days of peace
I choose the nights of freedom
I choose the path of care
I choose the destination of empathy
I choose to celebrate being human
Because I choose to be "human"-"kind" ~
I am constantly at peace, although work still surrounds like it always did...but that was then and now is something else. A lot has passed, a lot has happened but one thing that hasn’t changed throughout the past 7 years is the burning desire within me to fight. My modes of fighting have changed, I have learnt to strategize and more importantly I have learnt to share, the responsibilities and that desire of making change happen. Sitting here, right now I remember that day...
On my right sat some more speakers, we talked, we shared and that great event called the launch of national WE CAN Campaign against honor killing carried on. Time came and I was called to the stage to read my poem that I had written for a woman who was killed in the name of honor without having to know her mistake. With the pride of a 17 year old, I stepped on the stage; chin high glanced over the crowd of 700 who only saw a frail little girl trying to come in between a centuries old tradition.
I started to read from my poem, first sentence, second sentence... my heart started to beat faster and faster until it felt heavy, a sob fought through my chest and with more words that came out I was crying and reading, crying and reading until I finished the poem where that woman asks the reason of her death before breathing her last... I didn’t care if most of the people had joined me in my tears, I didn’t care if my sobs could be heard through the hall but I cried because I felt helpless, I still cry now... but now it’s because I know there are ways to stop this but we have been late in acting on those ways....
Those days in 2006 were the first and painful steps... although yes, in those times of my energetic childishness I never thought of them as painful - I questioned every opposition strongly with a great big WHY? Because weren’t everyone as desperate to end a custom that took the life of a living person?
The answers came to me soon in the coming years, along with lessons I would never forget. Launching a campaign against the crime of Honor Killing was the best idea I had but at those times when I didn’t exactly knew what the consequences would be... I saw things changing within a year... not in anything else but in the attitudes of people in my community towards me, I would question that and no one described. I was told by my own father to hide myself…and when riding around my own hometown I should have the window covers of the car on. I did perfectly as told... but then they tell me to leave. My father wanted me to stop everything like a coward and run back to where it was safe.
I did escape without having to know much, but I can never forget how it felt. It was said that un-Islamic teachings are being spread around by our work, we are bringing the men and women together to help them go against Islam and that not being enough... I remember another big jolt in my life.
I know I haven’t grown as much to stand up as a fully aware person, but I know what happened in that time... I was being accused of things that I didn’t even know how to do... I remember fear running up and down my stomach and anxiety of blaming myself for nothing. I never knew people were taking advantage of my age and the opposition that had already made me and my team weak. My heart breaks to remember the sadness I saw in my parents eyes, I knew that very moment I had to stand up again, for myself, for my work and for those women who were even more weaker then I was.
It took such a long time... to recover, to stand up again and to claim my space where I belonged. This time I was taking small, slow and steady steps. I was being conscious of having to defend myself and my beliefs. I did three things. I built up myself, I built up my team and we built up our strategy.
This Strategy was Sughar. A word used from decades in almost all languages used in Pakistan for a woman who is skilled and confident. If a word like that existed, I knew that its true meaning did too. All those women who are under the threat of doing the slightest mistake and losing their lives for nothing are actually the ones strongest. All the women are Sughar, but there was a need to bring that out. A great need to show and prove to women that within them there is a person who can stand up for themselves, who can decide for her life and who can choose right from wrong.
I remember just a few years back, when we went back to start again. All eyes on us. We were expected of being wrong again. But not this time, we talked to the leaders, to the same old communities and started on a plan to build strong the traditions that made our lives colorful. The response, my team and I couldn’t believe was 80 percent in a yes from everyone...how easy was it to start again! How easy was it to sit among those whom we wanted to change and how easy was it to get access back to the lives of women and change their lives once and for all.
Sughar started doing that... my team became my pride and the work that kept expanding became an indication that yes, now all was working. Indirectly still we were changing things, slowly and gradually. When Sughar Centers started to be established in villages and women started to join every day, we took it as our responsibility to not only support them economically but to make them fully aware that time has come when they could do a lot more than they thought they could. I have many beautiful memories from this all and many good times when I cried not because I felt helpless or other but because I was so proud. This was like not us taking action but the communities themselves taking charge of reaching out to the dream we once saw. I remember something very well again…
They all sat in front of me, women from 10 villages in Sindh after our successful expansion in this province to be trained as trainers and to launch Sughar Centers in their villages. I only had to take a glance once, because next time my eyes couldn’t focus because of the tears, I cried and cried for the pride that jumped through me. I was thankful to everyone and I am still thankful, to my team, to those women, to every single one of you because this is working. We see the slow but visible change and Oh My God it is there.
A Lot of Gratitude Fills My Heart and Soul Because You Care.
Post for the Girls Fight Back: http://www.girlsfightback.com/tag/khalida-brohi/
Last year in summer I was in Boulder, Colorado for the Unreasonable Institute, a ten week institute also called a crash course for social entrepreneurs. For the initial weeks I was still trying to get over my cultural-shock + anxiety and confusion of being away from my home, away in America! The name of this country sometimes didn’t fit properly in our mouths back from where I am, where girls need to whisper names like these in each other’s ears because talking about or going to a foreign country is a social taboo for a girl.
My anxiousness hadn’t last much when after one of introductory community pitches of Unreasonable Institute I met Erin Weed. Handing me a copy of the GFB book she with great energy and enthusiasm said, “Hey! I would love to get to know more about you, we should hang out sometime!” In that very moment, I wasn’t exactly thinking about what she was saying…I was just awed at her poise, at her confidence and how she controlled herself. And once again waves of images flooded my mind of my friends back home and of my cousins who wouldn’t speak looking someone in the eye, who were supposed to be lean, shy and modest to be called good woman and who weren’t at all supposed to decide on meeting with someone may it be a female or a male. It was another social taboo.
All at once I figured that my cultural shocks aren’t finished yet, there is more to come and when one day Erin came zooming in her car and took me andTrina (another Unreasonable Fellow from India, doing some awesome work at Kranti) to the Flat Irons for a quick lunch and discussion about what we do and what she does at Girls Fight Back.
Finding out more about Girls Fight Back was like opening up doors for me to a new world, where women and girls weren’t objects, they were “human”, real tough humans and where they could defend themselves from violence and abuse! I was excited! I was actually overjoyed and had exclaimed that very moment, “I want to join you as a speaker”! For a while, with my silk Pakistani pink frock and bead-laced scarf around my head I felt my cheeks flush with the idea of kicking butt. But Erin had known that I could, and with her belief and my passion to bring back to Pakistan a part of Girls Fight Back for women and girls in local communities facing violence, abuse and harassment not only at homes but in public places, public transport, at workplaces and at recreational places.
My plans for bringing GFB to Pakistan integrated well with what we do at Sughar (English translation: Skilled and Confident Woman) where we provide women socio-economic empowerment via entrepreneurship, and social empowerment is the name of being able to defend oneself from violence!
So at this fantastic occasion of GFB 10th birthday, I thank Erin and GFB for helping us bring GFB to Pakistan and for giving us an opportunity to reach out to other girls and women in Pakistan which need to become girls who do fight back! Happy Birthday!
Note from Erin: Khalida is the human embodiment of optimism. I often think of her contagious laugh as we drove around in my Beetle convertible last summer, with her gorgeous scarf blowing in the breeze! She will be a famous international leader someday, mark my words…oh wait, too late, she already is! Seriously Khalida, thank you and Trina for bringing our mission to women across the world. It’s a dream come true…
